September 2010
August 2010
So Helium Walks into a Bar and Orders a Beer...
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
(via)
Amanda asked me if I remember what happens in The Corrections. I was all, "Yes. Because I have read it twice." This is what I came up with, with a little extricating from A Spot of Bother, because they have some similar things going on. Unfactchecked:
okay. let’s see. it’s about a family - the parents, two sons, and the daughter. so, not chronologically: the parents go on a cruise, the mother is depressed, she starts taking pills called Aslan. oh, and the father throws himself off the cruise ship. the daughter is a cook in a fancy new restaurant, co-run with her boyfriend maybe? i think one of the sons is a fuck-up… college professor? he’s the first character we really get to know, after a bit with the parents. maybe got fired for fucking a student? i think he does some drugs. and the other son… i want to say gary? um, probably more successful, richer, wife and young kids? but everyone’s lives are going to shit.
I have found the best cookie.
It is the CocoNut from Pret a Manger. There are nuts, they say, but it’s really coconut and melty chocolate. (Pret keeps their cookies warm.)
I don’t have a picture because I ate the cookie. I know that’s bad internet, but I don’t care.
But there. Now you know. The best cookie. Thanks.
Adam Szymkowicz Interviews Playwrights, Part 246: Young Jean Lee →
aszym.blogspot.com
If you want a playwriting “career”, then you have to think of it as a business. Get to know your market. Think from the perspective of the producers and presenters. What do they need to do in order to keep their jobs? What has succeeded and failed for them in the past? How do you fit into that equation? Find people for whom you’d be the perfect fit and convince them of this. Don’t ever think of yourself as a supplicant, hoping you’re what they’re looking for. Figure out what they’re looking for, and if you’re not it, then either become that thing (if that’s what you want to become) or don’t waste your time on them. Someday they may change their minds and come to you. If someone they respect likes your work, then tell them so (instant door-opener). Apply for things—even if you don’t get them, important people will see your work. If you end up working for someone who could help your career, WORK YOUR ASS OFF FOR THEM (unless they are ungrateful pricks, in which case quit immediately). Don’t fall into the trap of feeling entitled to career success solely on account of your talent. There’s a huge market for mediocre art, and the less-talented wipe the floor with the more-talented every day.
— Young Jean Lee, offering advice that can be tailored to us all.
Take Five
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
therealestsocksinthegame:onikaisthenewblack:venetian-blinded-rage:themarriageofadeadblogsing:venetian-blinded-rage:crookedindifference:(via topherchris)
The Dave Brubeck Quartet - Take Five
This is the piece that SHATTERED the Jazz world when it was first performed - it was, at that moment, the very first known jazz piece to be composed and performed at 5 beats-per-meter. In other parts of the world, such as the Middle East, pieces using 5, 7, and 13 bpm are normal; but Westerners have some sort of innate system of rhythm-keeping that makes us default to 3/4, 4/4 (or 2 bpm if we wish to increase tempo). Try listening to a piece using 5 bpm and tap out the beat (other than this)…if you grew up here, your body will try to correct you.
I mean when you listen to it, doesn’t it just jolt you in a particular way? It was brilliance at its best.
This is a fantastic piece all around. I’ve written before about how non-western music sounds “wrong” to a lot of people. As (whoever wrote this blurb) says, part of it has to do with the time signatures used, as well as the “weird” tunings.
Interestingly, when I was in college I had to do a small amount of music theory. One thing we had to study was 5/4. How I was taught it was to count a waltz and then a two beat, so 1 - 2 and 3 - 4 - 5, which means that whenever I try to play in 5/4 now it always ends up sounding like Take 5.
Extra Bonus Fun Fact: The original Mission Impossible Theme is also written in 5/4, though everyone assumes it’s in 4/4.
I tried to compose something in 5/4 to see if I could even think of something new: I couldn’t. Also, I mentioned Middle Eastern music as commonly in odd-number bpm - I actually have to amend that statement, because Arabic pop/dance music is now frequently in 4/4. Even the traditional ballad singers started writing stuff in 2/4 and 4/4, which is upsetting to some because that’s just nooot how it was done before.
Additionally, you brought up the “weird” tunings of ME music - so true! We’re not used to those chords, nor the chords popular in East Asia, which is why we’ve conflated East Asian music to simple triads in our imitation of them.
1. I fucking love this song.
2. The above note about the Mission Impossible Theme reminded me of a time in high school where we were working on a group choreography project to that song, and having THE WORST TIME. Until we realized it was written in 5 and not 4. Then it was easier.
3. Did anyone else see the Brubeck tribute at the last Kennedy Center Honors? His sons all sat in and played this. It was pretty awesome.
I took a very intimidating modern dance class my first semester of college. It was hard, and it was awesome. (That is, obvs, also what she said, but anyway.) One day I went to the bathroom right after warmups and came back to find the class learning a combination. I was more lost than I even usually was, just could not figure out what the hell was going on, until I realized the song was in 5, and this is what it was.
(I also have a compulsion for figuring out weird time signatures. That instrumental dance in the middle of Kiss Me Kate, not that I spent any summers driving around to that CD, is a doozy.)
It is true that Betty is not the most terrific person. She is not an angel or a saint. But when people say on the one hand that Betty is despicable and on the other “I like how Pete is coming into his own,” it is extremely hard to refrain from saying “at least Betty never raped anybody,” but one must, because there is nothing to be gained from having that conversation with a person who thinks that Pete is, like, totally super.
Gurl, Pete may get more aggressive, more verbal with his smackdowns directed at his male co workers, which I enjoy, mostly because in that episode? Roger deserved it.
But, I will never, EVER like Pete because he is a rapist and an absolute jerk, and he’s never shown a shred of care for anyone besides his weasly, slimy, narrow-minded self.
A-HA!
I’m currently a couple of episodes from the end of season 1 [fat Peggy makes me feel weird!] and in the VERY FIRST EPISODE, or at least the VERY FIRST TIME WE MET PETE CAMPBELL, I turned to Tanner, who’s seen the first few seasons, and I said, “Does Pete Campbell rape someone?” Tanner: “I’m not going to tell you.” Me: “He does! I bet he does! I can tell! He’s gonna rape someone!” And then Tanner was like, “No! God! Shut up, woman! Fine! No, he doesn’t!”
This addiction to being right is going to cost me some day.
An African guy who’s visiting the office today just came up to my desk and I had to make him repeat his question three times before I got that he was asking where he could get water. He started spelling it, complete with tracing the letters in the air. Don’t I feel awesome and sensitive and stuff.
To be fair, I’m pretty sure he was saying lo water, which threw me.
But still, that’s no excuse. Suck less, Green. Suck less.
My dad has had a beard for longer than I've been alive, save two weeks in 1984 after an incident with a beard trimmer. Also he just moved to North Carolina. And referees high school football. Okay.
- (via text message)
- Dad: The Football Association has a 'No facial Hair' policy.
- Jaime: I'll make sure to shave my goatee before I head to training camp?
- [I have no idea what he's talking about at this point.]
- Dad: I gotta shave to be part of Friday Night lights
- Jaime: Wait, this includes refs? For high school??
- Dad: YeS
- Jaime: That's insane!
- Dad: I'm in the Bible belt
- Jaime: Jesus had a beard!!!
- Dad: Lolololol
- Dad: Yeah I should tell them my Rabbi requests I keep my beard
“As she initiates physical contact with his testicles, the heat becomes too much.”
—Last week, I started writing synopses for rap songs on Wikipedia, but gave up after doing Snoop Dogg’s Gin and Juice. I discovered today that it had been expanded upon and refined, and featured in an article on The Awl (which was factually incorrect, stating that the synopsis had been written in 2005, when it was actually written last Tuesday). (via awesomeringerud)
PHTSD
- Me: Did you see that Emma Watson copied my new haircut?
- Tanner: Yeah! But she looks HOT!
- Me: [withering look] [or at least I think so - it's hard without my glasses on] You mean as opposed to me?
- Tanner: Yes! No!
- Me: Too soon!
- Tanner: Do you think you don't look hot?
- Me: Do YOU?
“(“I’m a universe critic” I said in my mind.)”
—Things I Ate That I Love
